I'm not especially sad or angry these days.. More like frustrated and having Covid fatigue in the current situation at almost one year now. And the rollout of the vaccines is lagging and dragging this out longer. Hoping that the new one-shot from J & J will help move things along more quickly so that we will be closer to being able to return to a "new normal."
March 2, 2021
I'm still really bitter about not being able to get the vaccine. I've seen so many friends and now coworkers get the vaccine. I get that there are different rollout plans in different areas, so I might be eligible for a vaccine in one state but not here. I also have not waited around a grocery store or vaccination site. But, I'm so frustrated by how many people around me have gotten it just by chance or good circumstances. Many rightfully deserve it, but I go into the office and feel like I've paid my dues of social distancing and keeping to myself. Don't I deserve the added level of protection that other healthy 30-year-olds can get? I try to be happy for people posting online that they've gotten a vaccine. I do very much support everyone getting it, but I can't help the jealousy I get, feeling like I'm still so naked and susceptible to this virus that could mildly affect us or could kill us. I have a list of things I want to start doing once I get vaccinated and leave enough time for it to build up my immunity. I feel like I"m doing the smart, considerate thing by not rushing to go to the gym or all the different doctors appointments or go shopping or get a massage. But, all these other people can. I can, in theory, but I'm trying to minimize my risks. I just feel so left out and so many people's lives are "returning to some semblance of normalcy" but I don't feel like that veil or pandemic life is lifting for me yet and there's supposed to be a light at the end of the tunnel, but I have no justification it's there for me yet.
March 28, 2021