I feel like I have gone through the whole grief cycle in the last year. First “it’ll never come over here” and “it won’t last”. Then great and anxiety about food supply chains and wishing desperately that we had room in our tiny house for a chest freezer. Then “what the hell people, wear your damn masks or we’ll all be trapped in our homes forever!” Many, many weeks of depression and palpable anxiety. And finally, in just the last week or two, something approaching acceptance. I’ve figured out a system that works for me while [my husband] is deployed, and hopefully will work for him when he gets back and we have to share the space again. E. has a good routine and social life with daycare and our daycare family bubble. I can bake amazing challah and pizza dough after making them both nearly every week for more than 50 weeks now. More and more people around me are getting vaccinated. Maybe soon I can be vaccinated. There is still a cynical voice in the back waiting to be let down or disappointed, but in general the optimist is winning.
March 21, 2021
I returned from a trip to Texas on Monday the 10th. New Jersey suggests (because they cannot require) that you quarantine for 14 days after a trip like that. As such, I am have been locked in my bedroom for 5 days now, never leaving. I am fortunate enough to have a bathroom attached to my bedroom, one that I do not share with my flatmate. I am also fortunate enough to possess a variety of electric cooking appliances suitable for cooking for one. I have a small counter, a "dressing table" between my bedroom and my bathroom, which I am currently using as a makeshift kitchen. I have a coffeemaker, a miniature crockpot, and a wafflemaker, all electric. I have one set of utensils, a chef's knife, a wooden spoon, and a whisk. I have a mixing bowl, an eating bowl, a plate, a mug, a cup, and a cutting board. I have two dish towels which serve as drying mats after I wash my dishes in my bathroom sink. I use the toilet as a garbage disposal, scraping uneaten food into it - I can't put it in a trash bag, and it won't keep as I have no refrigeration. My flatmate brings any food I order for delivery to my bedroom door; I take it after he has walked away. Under the dressing table I have all manner of nonperishable food: canned fish, canned vegetables, ramen noodles, pasta, tortillas, pita (the latter two will perish, but don't need to be kept cold). I have some produce that can be kept at room temperature: a yellow and a red onion, some red delicious apples, and a bunch of bananas. Oh, and two avocados (which must be eaten today) and a bulb of garlic. I am a teacher, and I have been receiving guidance on how the new school year will go once it begins. They are planning on splitting the population into 3 cohorts and sending them to school for half-days at a time, with one group at a time in the building, to allow for social distancing. I predict that we will close back down and go to full virtual learning sometime at the beginning of October. The pandemic has mostly left me bored. It is summer - my time off, my time to accomplish the things that I couldn't do the rest of the year: play video games, study something new, do large projects, travel. But video games and studying are boring now, since it has become all I can do. Projects are difficult, since getting supplies requires going out. And while Jersey is relatively safe, it is only so because we avoid going out. I want to spend time with people - but that's simply not logistically possible. And now, in the last few weeks before my school year begins again, I am trapped in quarantine. I plan on getting a COVID test today or tomorrow. a negative result will free me from quarantine, but I don't know that it will come quickly enough for it to matter. Which is frustrating.
August 15, 2020