We have to fly next week for my medical appointments and treatment. It makes me very anxious. The last time, despite masking rules, so many people were in violation. I received an email update from the CDC yesterday, stating that high quality N95 masks were available for free in my community. I went to the specified pharmacy to pick them up for next week’s trip, only to find that they are stiff, uncomfortable Made-in-China weird masks, and far, far to tight for a human head (unless you are an infant?). I literally cannot wear one of them, even for a few minutes, let alone for 5-6 hours. So the whole attempt to get them was a waste of time, unless I can figure out a way to refit the straps. They look nothing like what the CDC showed in their email/website. I question if they are even legitimate N95 filtration.
March 24, 2022
Languishing. I finally heard a word to help describe my feelings. Languid (adj): without vigor or vitality. Languish (vi) to become weak or droop; to long or to pine. Yes, that term helps to define where I am at this point. I'm not depressed, and surely I'm not enthusiastic. I've pushed through months of the pandemic using extra energy to be positive, and it has worked. I've supported friends and family and have found ways to brighten each day. I'm able to hike and garden with friends and to continue meeting with book groups via Zoom. That's been wonderful. My husband and I are fully vaccinated, and that's freeing. The cup is half full in so many ways, yet I still long for my usual enthusiasm and energy. Pandemic fatigue? Perhaps that is real. Acknowledging it feels right.
April 25, 2021