It’s thanksgiving tomorrow and I usually travel by Greyhound to visit my brother and his family in Holland MI Not going this year and will spend thanksgiving alone with a bottle of white Zinfandel , a pumpkin pie and my cat Willow. Am thinking of all the things I have lost this year including my sense of safety: my mom, a favorite cousin, the bike trail along Muskegon Lake is flooded, coffee shops closed, public library has pick-up only (thank goodness for that), my writers group disbanded, fear of getting on public transportation and I have no car. And just chatting with people I met during the day in my apartment building, wandering around the city, and hanging out at the local coffee shop. We had our first snow yesterday and it was beautiful but a warm front blew through and it is all gone this morning, Rain and clouds expected today and the gloomy weather does nothing for my mood, And the fear that every persons path you cross could be harboring a deadly virus is unnerving to say the least. I’m emotionally exhausted,
November 26, 2020
I’m baaack! I haven’t written in a while as I have been enjoying a lower risk summer here in NJ - a place that often gets trashed but leaves me so so grateful for it’s culture that is more inclusionary and fact-based than so many other places right now. So. I am writing as this is a very, very specific moment in the pandemic. This week the culture has shifted once again as Delta is here threatening everyone’s piece of mind. Masks are back (I never stopped using one in public indoor spaces). I have started to let one or two family friend’s unvaccinated children stay here inside over the summer. My nearly 11 year old child (so close to being eligible!!) is not vaccinated so I have always been wary. We have one month of summer to get through. My anxiety is way up. Camps are emailing saying everyone needs to mask, school board meetings are suddenly interesting again. All of it. Yesterday, I went to the doc for a routine exam. A young woman was in the waiting room. The admin comes out to say to ask her if she had been vaccinated (she was not). Therefore with her symptoms she had to go outside as sick patients were not having in person appointments. She needed to go to do a tele health visit from her car. She also had to be told to put her mask up. You could feel the mood in the room change. I was silently furious and the judgement vibes were very real. She went outside and the staff was visibly upset. One staffer come out and Lysoled the entire reception area saying she was doing it for us but that everyone’s health mattered. 5 min later a man walks in comes to the desk. No mask. He is asked is he has a mask. “No.” The sign on the door says wear one - with a picture. He was unapologetic. They gave him a mask. In the exam room, the nurse and I chatted - shared frustrations. We waited to take my blood pressure thinking it would be higher. I am so furious at the people putting my family at risk. FURIOUS. People of the future - if you read this - know that in 2021 you still can’t fix stupid.
July 29, 2021