I make a point of living a life that focuses on beauty that can be found in each day. I try not to actively worry about COVID on a daily basis at this point. I could lose sleep every night nursing my fears related to the outcome of the upcoming US presidential election, massive new virus outbreaks at schools and universities, inadequate hospital staff and medical supplies and more. I could be a bigger emotional wreck about how this fall and winter may turn out, if I let myself, but I do not. I cannot. I try to keep my fears about COVID focused on my own life versus expanding my anxiety out into a vast universe of infinite worry. Thus, I would say that my greatest fear regarding COVID centers around me or any family member contracting COVID and surviving, but then suffering long term, permanent debilitating effects, despite having almost no pre-existing health conditions. Currently healthy as an ox (and challenged only with minor, exercise induced asthma), I do not believe that this virus would kill me or my immediate family. (My parents, close to 80-years old, may be a different story). I am less, sure about whether we would escape the pernicious health effects that so many appear to struggle with long after the active virus is gone. A notion exists that COVID manifests as an intense cold for non-senior healthy people and then disappears altogether “like the flu but just worse.” I have read too many stories written by real people that indicate otherwise. Involved in various online running and triathlete groups, I have read posts that previously strong athletes have made about their experiences with COVID that indicate that healthy people can suffer permanent internal damage. “In 2019 I completed my third Ironman. Now, I struggle to catch my breath after going up one flight of stairs, still, 5 months later. I have since sold my tri-bike because I think my racing days are over,” someone said. A different person in her early 30s said that she and her family are still dealing with neurological issues 19 weeks after getting her first COVID symptoms. NPR reported a story uncovering the existence of ”long-haulers"—younger, previously healthy people who are sick for months with a low level of COVID 19. They may experience effects like bouts of fatigue, memory issues (and more) that existing COVID tests do not detect. In addition to dealing with debilitating conditions, long-haulers report experiencing difficulty getting proper, COVID-related healthcare. Because their symptoms extend beyond those commonly associated with the virus, healthcare providers do not always even believe these patients have COVID. I do not want this to be ME! I place a PREMIUM on being in top-notch health and have made every proactive attempt at keeping myself strong and fit, seven-days a week. Being fit is an essential part of my identity and lifestyle. I aim for lifetime participation in activities like running, swimming, lifting and yoga. These things are vital in keeping me mentally and emotionally healthy and happy as a productive member of society. I fear that COVID could possibly impair the quality of my life permanently, leaving me less active and more prone to anxiety and depression for many years to come. Hopefully, my fears will remain in my head and will have no basis in reality.
August 27, 2020
Oh, by far the biggest news this week was the announcement that the remains of 215 First Nations children have been discovered on the grounds of a Catholic run residential school in Kamloops. Since the church has a long, long history of preying on the weak, the poor and indigenous populations in general, I sadly admit it wasn’t as shocking to me as it might have been. The sheer quantity of children dying and not being returned to their families for a decent burial was shocking but it’s time to rip the fucking bandage off and have the grounds of every residential school searched, right across this country. These children need to be repatriated to their families and I hope to hell that the perverted staff who did this are outed (dead or alive) and that the Catholic Church and the federal government not only pay the bills for the search,testing and repatriation but that a heaping dose of hot coals ends up on the heads of both entities for their part in these children’s deaths. Also, screw the Catholic Church for not every TRYING to apologize by this date for their role in this outrageous scheme to brainwash children and in covering up the deaths. This religion is one of the leaders in toxic treatment of children and those less fortunate, I hope there is some kind of hell since they really need to end up roasting in it.
June 3, 2021