This week was Mom’s birthday. Though she’s no longer here I often feel her presence. I decided to celebrate with a quick round of “Happy Birthday to you...” and made a wish and blew out the candle as her proxy on the special day. I took this picture to share with my sister and to see how she might have marked the occasion. When I looked at the picture I was struck by the impermanence of our presence here on earth, and how many spirits may be with us, or not... the candle reflection is there, but not the shadow of the flame. Isn’t a shadow supposed to be one of life’s given? The constant threat of Covid, and the unknown seemed particularly poignant in that flame and missing shadow. It left me questioning all kinds of things like what’s real? Can you trust your eyes? Can you trust pictures? What else do we think should be a certain way and isn’t? How long will Covid last? When will I feel safe again! Will I ever feel safe again? And yet there’s an element of comfort here as well. That is that I can stand alone and burn brightly knowing she’s there, even though I can no longer “see” her. Maybe it’s the “shadow of doubt” that’s missing? Maybe it’s a sign she’s still with me? I hope all those who have lost loved ones may also see themselves burn bright without a shadow of doubt, and find comfort in the possibility they are still here and watching over us.
December 31, 2020
Everyone I know in the US has been fully vaccinated now. Praise God! It has been quite easy and available-- I think the government did a great job of this. I feel bad for friends in other countries who have struggled to get it and are still unvaccinated. A lot of people I know in Mexico are coming to the US to get the vaccine. Part of me is happy for them that they can do this, part of me is mad at the Mexican government for not providing for its people. Also, why should US taxpayers pay for the Mexican citizens to get the vaccine because the Mexican government didn't get its act together??? I really hate the Mexican president with a passion. He is such a total idiot. I am also a Mexican citizen so I can say this and I have a stake in what happens down there. I really hope he loses some power in the upcoming election because it is scary what is happening in Mexico and I am afraid that the country will continue to go down the tubes with this crazy maniac in power
June 5, 2021