I felt very alone this week. Some of it was the anniversary of my mother’s passing, some the disgust at the nonsense on the political scene, and some the anticipated let down of the coming Holiday seasons (which will be more nonevents and missed family and friends gatherings) .. these all seemed to push my Pandemic switch from acceptance of this “new normal”, past Covid fatigue to Covid retreat. I spent one whole day surfing YouTube videos...all very educational as I demanded that of myself...no cute kittens and puppies, or compilations of fails as I did not want any more wallowing in failures or fluff...but how many flourless cake recipes, Tahitian dance competitions, how to trim cow hooves, or say yes to the dress silly bride episodes can one take. Next day I had to get out of the house, apparently with everyone else experiencing the same thing, and I found myself in a crowded store stocking up wishing I wasn’t there and wondering why I was?
November 18, 2020
It's been tiring being left in the house all day. I've started to look for jobs so I can have something to do but they take long to respond back to me and I begin to lose hope. My parents won't let me go outside because "it's only getting worse" like it hasn't been worse for the last couple of months but anything to keep me inside and sheltered.
August 3, 2020