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Has the pandemic affected your religious or spiritual observance in any way? If so, talk about it.

I don't think it was a conscious idea, but I stopped praying. When I had to go out of the house, I would pray every morning, sometimes also in the afternoon. I went to shul every Shabbat. Now it is rare that I will pray. I don't want to get dressed. Or I don't really feel like talking to God or mumbling the words. I don't know if or why it is important. A few weeks ago when my husband and I heard davening in our backyard, we quickly got dressed and went to the outdoor shul. I was excited to see what it was going to be like. I was hoping for some excitement or feeling of awe for the first time in months being part of a community or hearing the Torah read. And all I felt, in the end, was a desire to run away, and that I was stuck. It struck me last week when i was sitting in my garden, in shorts and a tank top, reading a novel, while I overheard the Torah reading. I had no desire to run to get dressed or even enter that space again. The rituals I still do are go to the mikvah. Which I question more now, of what is this water really doing. Is it worth all the planning and arranging that I need to do so I can go? Shabbat, which I appreciate as the one day that I don't have to focus on my computer. Although at times I want to have interactions with people other than my husband. But overall it is nice to have a day where I don't feel bad about sitting in the sun and reading. I am curious as to how Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur will feel this year. Not sure if I will go to shul or if there will be shul. I am also a rabbi --- so I am not sure how I will be able to [be] present or helpful to others who are also feeling a lack of connection. I am not sure if it is a loss of faith or perhaps just a loss of desire for strict rituals.