My dreams are often drawn and look real. The people and places remain actual but I see them as drawn by hand.Yesterday, on a facetime birthday (7th) call to CA from CT our granddaughter used some odd app - and she became a black and white drawing of herself - so now my dream seems closer to reality. I am dreaming of crossing a frozen lake (like the oil painting I created after walking across Lake Candlewood) on a bitterly cold day with my husband. I completed this R/T once - vowing never again - and we were fine. In my dream I must once again cross the frozen lake but I am afraid that due to climate change I will break through and die. I feel death is close - not a distant & abstract concept any longer - I must wear a mask in my dream and no virus is lurking on the other side of the lake. I will contract covid only if I remain on this side of the lake. I must cross. I wear my Star of David around my neck and hold hands with my husband. We begin to walk on the ice. Crack crack crack !! Tree stumps stick up, all are dead. This lake is manmade & originally flooded rolling farmland. Crack crack crack! I want to turn back but fear covid. Suddenly my feet slip beneath me as the ice opens in a wide gap. I reach for my husband and we look at each other closely. It is the same glance as the moment several winters ago when at 2 AM, 10th floor of Marriott, Anchorage Alaska a 7.1 earthquake shook our room violently, the hotel was like a ship tossed in violent waves. Miraculously we felt secure simply because we were with one another. CRACK CRACK CRACK I wake up and reach across our bed for my husband’s hand.
October 29, 2020
The loss of so many innocent lives to the Pandemic is starting to take a toll. I find myself crying at least once a day over a news segment about a “life well lived” and I’m sad but also angry because it didn’t have to be this way if we had leadership in the White House and/or Senate. It’s an absolute travesty what these people have unleashed on this Country. People have lost this jobs, lost their healthcare, facing eviction, foreclosure, during the holiday season, facing a pandemic. And DC is squabbling over whether to give people $600 or $1200 dollars. Unreal! People need thousands! I truly don’t understand the greed and callousness in DC. And then I saw the video of the woman in Chicago who stood naked on body camera after the police kicked in her door. And it terrified me. As a woman living alone in the suburbs, I couldn’t IMAGINE how I would have reacted to the police kicking in my door, making me stand naked while they ignored me telling them they had the wrong address. And similar stories of families in Chicago where their door has been kicked in multiple times. As a white woman, I live insulated from this trauma. I’ve only ever heard of this happening to one person, a friend of a friend, but the police had the right place that time. Then I saw the outrageous amount of settlement money the city of Chicago has paid due to police wrongdoing. Chicago is a great city and gets so many things right, why is the CPD still such a disaster ?!? Well, that was cathartic. Time to get back to cards and spreading Christmas cheer!
December 20, 2020