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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
During the pandemic, my cats have basically been my support. Since I'm immunocompromised and can't really return to normal the way most people seem to be doing now in the wake of Omicron, and since I've spent most of my life since early March 2020 isolating, they've provided me with many and comfort. They've given me something to do each day, to take care of and be responsible for, kept me on track and going even when all I wanted to do for depressing, lonely week after week, month after month, is lay on the couch and be as invisible as I've felt through the pandemic. They make me smile, they bring me joy, they're always there. In a time of upheaval and disruption in my personal, professional, and social life, as the world becomes more inaccessible and farther away, as the people I care for drop out of my life, I've been able to count on them each and every day. Now, my oldest girl is slowly slipping away. She's been with me for the past 20 years (almost 21 now) and has seen me through so much of my life, both good and bad, happy and sad, and everything in between. I don't know how to live without her. I've lost family and friends to COVID, I've seen some end up disabled long-term in the wake of the damage it does to their bodies. And she's been there, every time. I've moved to four different countries, been married and divorced and remarried and divorced, through horrible, broken relationships and finally to one of mutual respect and care. I've seen my friends' kids born and grow up, go off to college, get jobs, become parents themselves. I lost all of my grandparents after her arrival. She was there when their home was sold before they moved into retirement housing and I lost access to the place in the world that brought me the most comfort. But she was still there, curled on my lap or on her favorite green cushion that I always have on a chair in the window so she can catch the warm rays of sunshine whether it's the dead of winter or the height of summer. I've lost a great deal over my life, especially during these COVID years. But I've had her. My best friend. Not for much longer, though, and I am devastated. Lost. I hold her increasingly fragile body, watch her slowly and gingerly drink a tiny sip of water, slowly curl back up in my lap and I wonder how many more times I'll get to experience that. She goes to the vets on Monday. I don't know how to cope.
February 22, 2022
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Talk about what brings you happiness these days.
I'm usually an upbeat, happy person and feel lucky almost everyday to have a happy family, good friends, an interesting job, a nice house, a car that works, and to live where I do in the world. My optimism has certainly been tested since COVID began and like everyone else in the country, I've been experiencing a lot more downs than ups. I've tried to purposely spend time doing things that take my mind off all the crazy news and disordered state of our country and the world. One of these activities has been butterfly cocoon hatching. I had visited Magic Wings Butterfly Sanctuary in Deerfield Mass back in February, before the virus arrived here, and found out they sell native butterfly and beneficial insect cocoons for you to hatch and release at home. I started ordering them online in April and have hatched almost 20 this summer -- different varieties of Swallowtails, Luna moths, and Polyphemus moths. The photo I've uploaded is of one of the Spicebush Swallowtails -- after her wings had unfolded and pumped up, she crawled onto my hand and sat there for about 5 minutes before flying away. I garden with native plants and flowers in order to attract and support wildlife, jokingly referring to it as my "wildlife habitat" rather than my garden, but I was thrilled when she flew directly across my yard and landed on the Spicebush I had planted which, as her name implies, is one of the plants on which they lay eggs. Its been incredibly joyful to come down some mornings to find that another has hatched and I will soon get to release them into my garden. Its one of my happy projects! Of course not all of the cocoons are viable so that has been an important lesson too, that nature can be pretty cruel. About four of the moths and butterflies (out of the 20) seem unable to get out of their cocoons properly or their wings never fully open so they can't fly. I've read that for every viable cocoon there are several that aren't and will not hatch correctly -- Mother Nature's way of keeping down the butterfly and moth population I guess. I just wish she would apply the same logic to all the damn slugs who are munching on my garden plants every night! But my garden has been and remains one of my happy places and when it's not too hot I spend at least an hour or more after work each day in my garden -- watering, planting, weeding and deadheading. ...
July 29, 2020