This image, drawn by a four-year-old, says it all."I am angry!" next to a scowling face with gritted teeth. I don't know whether she drew it because she was feeling angry, or if she was just practicing drawing faces because they're learning about feelings at school. So I ask her how she's feeling. She tells me. It's elaborate, rambling, complex, and funny. She's honest, unselfconscious in a way that adults never are. She speaks in clauses and interrupts herself. She is love and joy and all good things distilled, sitting in the patch of sun on the scuffed living room floor of the new, smaller house we just moved into. She is surrounded by cardboard boxes and the dust of the house's previous occupants (why wouldn't you clean a house before you sold it to another family during a pandemic?! "I am angry!"). She is learning about feelings. She is teaching me.
March 10, 2021
This week, I came down with an extremely sore throat on Tuesday. I was immediately stressed, though I had no other symptoms. I began monitoring my temperature every few hours, but it was always normal. By Wednesday it hurt to eat, so I planned to go to my doctor if a fever emerged, thinking it could either be Strep throat or COVID-19. Because I wasn't sure, I have been staying home entirely, though my sore throat faded by Thursday, and I never had any other symptoms. I therefore didn't get tested for anything; it could've been allergies, a cold, etc, but because my one symptom was on the list, I stayed isolated, canceling a few plans, avoiding going out, and seeing only my roommates. It's crazy how just a few months ago, a sore throat would've meant nothing, and now it results in stress and uncertainty.
August 29, 2020