My dreams are often drawn and look real. The people and places remain actual but I see them as drawn by hand.Yesterday, on a facetime birthday (7th) call to CA from CT our granddaughter used some odd app - and she became a black and white drawing of herself - so now my dream seems closer to reality. I am dreaming of crossing a frozen lake (like the oil painting I created after walking across Lake Candlewood) on a bitterly cold day with my husband. I completed this R/T once - vowing never again - and we were fine. In my dream I must once again cross the frozen lake but I am afraid that due to climate change I will break through and die. I feel death is close - not a distant & abstract concept any longer - I must wear a mask in my dream and no virus is lurking on the other side of the lake. I will contract covid only if I remain on this side of the lake. I must cross. I wear my Star of David around my neck and hold hands with my husband. We begin to walk on the ice. Crack crack crack !! Tree stumps stick up, all are dead. This lake is manmade & originally flooded rolling farmland. Crack crack crack! I want to turn back but fear covid. Suddenly my feet slip beneath me as the ice opens in a wide gap. I reach for my husband and we look at each other closely. It is the same glance as the moment several winters ago when at 2 AM, 10th floor of Marriott, Anchorage Alaska a 7.1 earthquake shook our room violently, the hotel was like a ship tossed in violent waves. Miraculously we felt secure simply because we were with one another. CRACK CRACK CRACK I wake up and reach across our bed for my husband’s hand.
October 29, 2020
What's affected me most this week is two things. Firstly I had to do a resit for university to pass and get my degree. I found this a weird thing to do as I haven't had to do any exams for so long, also everyone else had already gotten their degrees and gotten registered as a Podiatrist so I was feeling left out. Secondly, my flatmate who had been in lock down with me since March has now gone home so it is very weird and sad without her here. I hope to go home next week, so for now I am just enjoying where I live and going on my favourite walks before I go home. However, I am nervous about going home. Will I be able to hug my parents? Or should I distant myself? When will I be able to come back to Edinburgh? these are all thoughts that I've pondered over the last couple of days. It will be so nice to be home though, so I am excited. Here is a picture of one of my favourite walks around Edinburgh.
July 6, 2020