I won't lie - it felt weird walking through the doors of the Getty Museum today in Los Angeles. Perhaps what made it so strange was that it felt in some ways like I had just been there. The last time I had ridden the tram or admired the artwork was February 15, 2020. Just mere weeks before the end of the normal world as we knew it. Yet here I was today with my family. It was interesting to hear their perspectives on the California lifestyle. Most of them live in Texas where they can roam free while the other half live in Seattle. I loved how they talked about how intolerable the mask rules were here - as if I hadn't mentioned it countless times on the phone with them or if I saw them in person. I guess it's one thing to tell someone and another to experience it firsthand. I am curious to see what California looks like in three days when the mask mandate supposedly ends. For some reason I remain doubtful that things will change - i.e. that I'll see more maskless people. I keep waiting for the governor to step in and go "um, nevermind, I'm not lifting the mandate even if I'm being recalled." In many ways, the Getty was exactly the way I remembered it - the vastness of it, the gardens, the artwork. Today, I loved the Vincent Van Gogh "Irises" painting - full of life - vibrant. Something I hope to experience in the future - full of life. In some ways, I have lived like dormant flowers - waiting for the spring to arrive so I can burst into color.
June 15, 2021
I got Moderna #2 today. Yay! So very relieved to be on the road to immunity. After the year of global pandemic, lock down, isolation, fear, irritability, uncertainty, and bouts of insomnia and thoughts of doom I am so joyous for this moment. This week I have seen some improvement in my energy level and mental outlook. I haven't been so quick to respond to issues or actions with anger. Instead I find it easier to just pause and breathe, observe and then respond. I still feel most days like I'm on my own secluded island, though. Suspicious of any strangers. Wary if I see a maskless person in public. Too quick to judge. But I'm getting better I think especially now that I'm fully vaccinated. I feel like I'm free to plan ahead again. Eager to get information from the CDC on what I can and cannot do going forward. Excited about travel and seeing family and friends. Still, in the back of my mind there's a kernel of doubt. What about all these new variants? How long does immunity last? Can I infect others? Much yet to be determined.
March 8, 2021