I’m now in my late 50s. My mother often used to say, “it’s later than you think.“ I never doubted that statement, but living through the pandemic has turned my thoughts to my mortality and to that of my loved ones— and to trying to live each day with an awareness of what matters most to me. I don’t take for granted that I, or anyone I love, has any guarantee of life. At the beginning of the pandemic I was filled with such anxiety that it took me hours to fall asleep at night, I awakened throughout the night, and suffered from insomnia. I have type 1 diabetes, and persons with diabetes are at a greater risk for hospitalization, COVID-19 related complications and death from the virus. I haven’t been to the grocery store or any other nonessential public place in a year. I have only had a few essential medical appointments in person, one medical procedure, and two lab appointments for blood tests. I began to meditate in the spring of 2020 and now meditate at least twice daily; the practice has helped me greatly. I also begin and end most days with a prayer, something I rarely, if ever, did before the pandemic. My husband and I have two daughters in their 20s, each living in urban environments hours away from us. I try hard not to worry too much about their health risks as they navigate work and school, but that has been a challenge.I’m learning to let go of the illusion of control.
February 18, 2021
Apples and honey for the new year....we just finished observing Rosh Hashana. And while it wasn't quite normal, it was far better than how we celebrated the holiday a year ago. Last year, we could only "zoom" for services, and it was just our immediate household for meals. We tried to make it festive, but it was hard. This year, we had the option if we were fully vaccinated and wore masks, to attend services inside. And we did! And it felt wonderful. Many, many people still chose to watch from home, so those of us who were there, were able to space ourselves in the sanctuary. And we had meals with friends and extended family -- outside in our yards. The weather cooperated. Not too hot and no rain. Beautiful blue skies to welcome in the new year. Every year I say to friends and family, best wishes for a good and healthy new year. This year, like last, I emphasize the word "healthy"....I say, may it be a healthier year for all (for everyone, everywhere)! There is nothing more important.
September 11, 2021