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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

When we all realized we had to wear masks, I developed an elaborate system of ordering my masks in a row and always taking from the right side, so that I could be sure that any mask I had been using had had at least five days to "dry" out and for any virus on it to shed. Now I'm down to a coat rack, masks thrown about, no order whatsoever. This is how I feel these days--completely scattered and without any sense of forward direction. It's true, we are coming out of winter, the vaccines are here, but the messiness of the vaccines is so depressing. My very progressive county, in an effort to be equitable, is holding back tons of vaccine until poor people and people of color can get them. Meanwhile tons of old people and teachers can't get them through the county and have to look elsewhere. At the same time, the governor (a republican) is sending a ton of vaccines to the pharmacies because they are less stringent about who they vaccinate. I find myself in the off position of actually supporting a Republican in this case. I have lost patience with people who are skeptical about the vaccines. If you don't want them, then just get out of the way and let other people have them. I feel like that is totally classist and racist of me, but I have friends over 65 who are going crazy trying to get vaccines. In this case, there really is scarcity. The rollout has been such a huge mess it's depressing. And meanwhile, my mother, like SO many other elderly people in care homes, is deteriorating emotionally from 12 fricking months of isolation and there's nothing my brothers and I can do about it. Part of me feels guilty for complaining because, hey--she's alive, she has food, she has medical care, at least she didn't die alone in an ICU, suffocating in her own lungs But then I think, oh Fuck that. I'm just angry and sad that this whole pandemic happened, that Chinese bureaucrats fucked this up, and Trump fucked it up, and the world fucked it up and it's still here and how many people have suffered and died. I've been trying to keep it together for my family and stay cheerful, but I don't know. I think I ran out of happy steam or happy juice or whatever it was motivating me to be up. I just want me and everyone else to be vaccinated and all the bickering everywhere to stop.