“How you doin?” Is something I ask myself every day, and every day I’m grateful. I’m retired and own my house. My health is good, and so far my family is healthy. We are not without challenges but they are minor compared to all those fighting the disease either personally or professionally. We have a roof over our head and food to eat, and can move around under our own power. What’s changed the most is how we socialize. Thank goodness for technology! Zoom and texting are a lifeline as I can see faces and interact. I miss smiles and hugs...and I don’t understand selfishness, entitlement and stupidity... well yes, I do...people are afraid, and fear often makes people stupid and angry and we see examples every day of that dangerous combination. Here’s hoping hate, like a bear, will hibernate, and perhaps dissipate and begone by spring...yah, I know...but you got to have a dream.... 12/15
January 6, 2021
I feel like a blob most of the time. I find it very difficult to go for walks - even more so now that it is generally cold, grey and wet outside. I find it difficult to do the exercise things over YouTube. I think that I am not good. I don't feel flexible. I don't feel fit. I just feel like a giant blob trying to move. And then professionally --- I am not doing what I trained to do, and then when there is the opportunity to do so as a volunteer, I am just too afraid to try. Which then circles back, do I really want to do this. Why am I suddenly so afraid? Why am I am not pushing forward with my dreams? What is really holding be back? And the answer is - I don't know, and am kinda afraid to find out.
December 30, 2020