I have to get a steroid injection for my lower back this week. I fell over a year ago and that resulted in a bulging disc that is pinching a nerve. I was actually very lucky. Although I was scheduled to receive it in June, I was feeling well since I had not been working. I work in retail, therefore, I am on my feet for several hours per week which can exacerbate the pain. I knew that when I started taking two Aleve, twice per day, that it was time. I was instructed that I would need to have a COVID test 2 days before my injection, which I was glad to hear. It is a major hospital in CT, so no big surprise about the test and I was relieved to get it done. I was not and am not concerned that it will be positive, given how I and my family have followed guidelines. I can be an anxious person but for some reason, leading up to the test and waiting in line did not make me feel anxious at all. Weirdly enough, while I sat in my car, listening to Green Day, I felt "normal," while also noticing how surreal the actual experience was. The sign directing the line of cars, people in head-to-toe safety gear with clipboards, people waiting in their vehicles. After I checked in and pulled forward for the actual test, I felt comfortable and safe. I am aware of the many types of COVID tests available but did not know which would be used. I honestly didn't care. People complain about the "massive Q-Tip" that is shoved in your nose, touching your brain and I didn't quite understand the big deal, considering the alternative. I did have a massive Q-tip stuck up both of my nostrils and it was done. It was not a big deal and the man who did it was professional, friendly and had his system of conducting the test perfectly established. I drove away, seeing the long line of cars and felt as if this was a normal part of anyone's day, as if it is simply something that we do. Hours later I was wondering if my radical acceptance of that experience was a positive, negative or something else. I decided it's a mixture: a blending of a lot of colors and temperatures...just like any life experience can be, just like any day can be.
August 21, 2020
With the news of some of my friends receiving the first vaccine I felt really hopeful. I bought clothes that I could eventually wear back to work and thought about all of the wonderful things that 2021 could bring. I am hoping that we will be vaccinated by the fall and may daughter can start middle school by walking in the door with her friends. But of course, with the excitement of the holiday (even though we didn't really do anything!) and everything leading up to it, I felt busy and hopeful. Now, I know there is darkness that is going to run its course and we have to hope we can safely get through the next few months +. I am still going to hold on to my hope, but I feel that we are in the one foot in front of the other mode again. It's daunting.
January 5, 2021