We took my son to an aquarium this week and it was so nice to have an outing to enjoy together. After so long with everything closed, restricted, or too risky, I have so much gratitude for these times when we get to go out and feel normal again. It was also a happy day because my son, who is quite cautious and tends to withdraw from uncomfortable or risky-seeming things, did something that for him was very brave. We were at the touch tank and we kept showing him how fun and safe it was to touch the rays. The aquarium staff explained that they have no teeth and their stingers are removed. But he wouldn't do it, not even once. However, about 45 minutes later, he asked to go back to the touch tank. He put his hands in the water, touched many of the rays, and even fed them a few fish. He was really excited, and I was so proud of him for getting up the courage to go back and try. We had seen some regression in him with the isolation of the past year, but this was a hopeful moment of progress and growth!
July 30, 2021
The pandemic has a way of making me feel the bitter truth of our world. I grieve with a heavier heart. I work longer hours. I spend even more time obsessing over social media. I am lost in my own anxiety, depression, and trauma at times. Pain and violence have become the norm. The pandemic has a way of making me feel the bitter truth of our world. I have learned to be more independent. I have become stronger through my pain, shaping me to be more empathetic. I am allowed to give myself grace during difficult times. I learned to stand up for myself, even if it is hard, even if I had to walk away from my dream job... I can use my voice to make a difference on others and myself.
January 13, 2021