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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
My husband called to ask me to bring his extra set of truck keys to where he was working. He'd locked his set in the truck. I was busily rewriting poems for my Zoom reading that is coming up, and I was very annoyed that he'd not paid better attention. Though I notice lately he is very forgetful or doesn't pay attention to many things. He is single focused, always has been. This is different. I realized on the drive to where he was working that even though he is working on a project for the homeless that is very important to him, he is stressed about the circumstances of the world we live in. His mother is in a home for people with Alzheimer's. We've seen her twice in the last year, from outside through a window. I guess it's comforting to realize she won't remember anyway, but also very hurtful. We have a new grandson that we have only seen 4 times since he was born in November of 2020. We aren't alone in these longings and missings but the full weight of it hit me as I drove to him with his. truck keys in pocket. The drive there was filled with a blue sky and white clouds in the distance that reminded me of the beauty in this world, in spite of all the anguish and despair. I stopped to photograph the magnificence of the world I was driving through. Someone, somewhere was standing or driving with awe at the spectacle I witnessed. Maybe they were even taking photos! By the time I arrived to where my husband was working, all I could be was grateful that he had locked his keys in that truck. I thanked him for giving me the opportunity to be salved by the beautiful things in the world and to throw away my annoyance. We stood there, hand in hand, and looked at the sky that was all around us as we whirled through it on this small blue dot, grateful together. Every day I walk and every day I am reminded. But some days are a bigger reminder than others. We receive our second shot for COVID yesterday and are busily planning a dinner here in our home with our daughters and their husbands, and of course our new grandson. We will eat outside and wear masks when we aren't eating, though four of us have received the vaccine. I see a change coming. I wait with hope and patience. Some days are easier.
March 15, 2021
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¿De que manera el coronavirus le está afectando su vida en este momento? Cuéntenos sus experiencias, sensaciones/emociones, y pensamientos.
Termina uno de los años más raros de toda mi vida. La vida fue normal hasta el 13 de marzo. . Luego vinieron 7 meses de confinamiento en los que prevaleció el miedo, la incertidumbre y las pérdidas en muchos sentidos. El 1 de octubre volvimos lentamente a salir. Lo hacemos con restricciones y precaución. A pesar de todo ello, tengo mucho por qué agradecer. Agradezco que estoy viva, que los seres humanos que más me importan en la vida están vivos. Agradezco que he sobrevivido a mi propia historia, que he soportado con dignidad y decencia mi propia misión en este mundo. Agradezco que aunque mi alma fue arrasada hasta los cimientos, estoy de pie, sigo avanzando, no me doy por destruida en definitiva. Agradezco lo largo y lo ancho de mi amor, ese que se expande, y envuelve como una sombra a un sin fin de gente que poseen tesoros que admiro: generosidad, valentía, entrega, compromiso, aplomo, verdad, rebeldía, perseverancia, misericordia, lucha... Agradezco por lo pequeño y por lo grande; por lo simple y lo complicado; por lo trivial y lo importante. Agradezco el trabajo que es pasión, que es creación, que construye y aporta a la vida de otros. Agradezco que aún encuentro ternura para escribir y comunicar. Agradezco que lo más importante ha quedado intacto dentro de mí. Siempre que aparece el agradecimiento en mi vida, surgen los pequeños demonios de la suficiencia, hubiera querido hacer más y mejor. Hubiera querido tener más manos, más voluntad, más recursos. Pero todo lo hecho fue con corazón y buena voluntad. Agradezco a todas las personas que me apoyaron y decidieron estar presentes en mi vida. También a aquellas que desde el anonimato me dedicaron una oración o hicieron lo posible para que la oscuridad no me devorara. Sé que fue difícil apoyarme, sé que lo hicieron contra todo, sé que el haber creído en mí me ha mantenido con vida. Muchas gracias. De verdad, a todos, muchas gracias
January 28, 2021