We did it. We took a vacation with friends. We self isolated for 2 weeks ahead of time, brought all of our own groceries and had a lovely week with dear friends. We hugged! Our daughter played with a friend INSIDE!! I hated to leave. I hated coming home to school anxiety conversations and my daughter swinging on the swings for hours by herself. I hate COVID but I love my friends.
August 16, 2020
I feel such an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. At least once a day I think, “I can’t possibly do this another day/week/month/year.” I’m not even sure what “do this” means... but I can’t help but think I’m missing out on the prime of my life and even as hard as I try to do all the things to keep going and take care of my physical/mental health, it feels like a ride a terrifying wave of feelings and emotions each day. I feel like I can accomplish a lot in one day through remote school and work but more and more it feels meaningless. I think I’ll cry the next time I sit in a classroom or I stand in a concert hall if/when it ever happens.
February 16, 2021