This is myself (in the fighter pilot helmet) hugging my daughter who had been working as an ICU nurse with strictly COVID prone vented patients for 4-6 weeks straight. She was struggling with her work and her inability to socialize - see family and friends - and working 12 hour shifts 5 or 6 days per week. She was a new nurse (only been in ICU for 4 months when COVID hit). She has a passion for elderly and hospice care (she worked at the VA in step down care the year before). I was getting calls from her in the middle of the night crying and hysterical because she was profoundly sad that COVID patients were coming in talking and walking and then would be on vents within 24 hours. The idea of not having anyone with them when they were dying was tearing her apart. She was seeing patients her own age, her parents age as well as older patients. She was seeing a large portion of the patients being black and hispanic. She was literally operating in a 'shock' mode. She was so worried about myself and my husband getting sick. I was so proud of her and worried for her own health and mental health but could do nothing other than face time and send her gifts. In this photo we met at a highway rest stop in Indiana (we each drove 2 hours to meet) and our family brought her the family dog to help with her sanity and be sure that she felt less alone in her Chicago apartment (which her roommate had moved out due to my daughter working strictly with COVID patients). Our dog stayed with her for 3 weeks and I truly believe that this saved her life (mentally at least). Her mood and ability to cope changed immediately. People need people (or dogs) and they need 'a reason to keep going and getting through the days'. Thanks for letting me share.
September 7, 2020
So I'm doing my master's in biochemistry, and right now it feels like my studies are on hold while labs aren't taking students to do lab rotations. I have a job doing PCR-based Covid tests one shift a week, pipetting samples for DNA extraction and such. I started in November and December and January were crazy, with our lab doing almost a thousand tests a day. At the moment it's much less, and we only do a few hundred (probably around 300 or so). I'm glad I have that job at least, because all my lectures are online now and otherwise I'm mostly just at home- in my 17 m^2 room. It's tiny, and very lonely. Going to the grocery store is basically the highlight of my day. But I saw a friend last Sunday for the first time in weeks, we got bubble tea and went for a walk around the city. I miss spending more time with my friends. I moved to this city to study here in October 2019, and I really tried to meet new people and be more sociable, going to the queer student's group and trying to make friends with fellow biochem students. Now it's all so much harder and I feel so alone all the time and stressed with exams coming up. I really miss studying in the university library. I know I still have it easy and things aren't that bad for me but it still feels difficult. I even miss train rides... Every day I look up the numbers of new infections and vaccinations. If new infections are going down things feel okay, but lately they've been going back up and I'm so scared things are just going to get worse. And looking at the vaccine statistics is frustrating, what with how slowly it seems to be happening. At work people have said we can get vaccinated, but since I don't have direct contact with infectious material I don't want to get it before I'm actually supposed to. I know that it's important for everyone who is mediacally vulnerable, who has a lot of contacts, or who is working with patients to get it first and I don't want to use some loophole to get vaccinated before my turn just because I can. But to end on a positive note: Today it was warm and sunny and I went outside to study my flashcards and there were so many people going on walks, children playing on playgrounds and people walking their dogs. It's easy to feel isolated and alone in my room, but there's something about hearing kids laughing and birds singing that makes things better. It reminds you that life is still going and things haven't stopped, even if it feels like it.
February 22, 2021