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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
I’m now in my late 50s. My mother often used to say, “it’s later than you think.“ I never doubted that statement, but living through the pandemic has turned my thoughts to my mortality and to that of my loved ones— and to trying to live each day with an awareness of what matters most to me. I don’t take for granted that I, or anyone I love, has any guarantee of life. At the beginning of the pandemic I was filled with such anxiety that it took me hours to fall asleep at night, I awakened throughout the night, and suffered from insomnia. I have type 1 diabetes, and persons with diabetes are at a greater risk for hospitalization, COVID-19 related complications and death from the virus. I haven’t been to the grocery store or any other nonessential public place in a year. I have only had a few essential medical appointments in person, one medical procedure, and two lab appointments for blood tests. I began to meditate in the spring of 2020 and now meditate at least twice daily; the practice has helped me greatly. I also begin and end most days with a prayer, something I rarely, if ever, did before the pandemic. My husband and I have two daughters in their 20s, each living in urban environments hours away from us. I try hard not to worry too much about their health risks as they navigate work and school, but that has been a challenge.I’m learning to let go of the illusion of control.
February 18, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
After weeks of fruitless efforts, I finally got an appointment for my husband to get his first dose of vaccine for this week. It's such a relief to know that he will finally be protected. I'm still not officially eligible, however a friend of mine told me yesterday about a site where a local hospital system is registering people 50+ years old. So I immediately signed up. It wasn't clear how long it will be before they contact me to make an appointment, but I hope it's soon. My brother called yesterday and asked if he can come to visit and stay for a couple days. He lives about 2 hours away from us. He will be arriving tomorrow. Since the pandemic began I've only seen him maybe 3 times. He's come over to visit for an hour or two and we always sat outside. This time he will be staying overnight and as much as I want to see him for a longer visit I"m also worried. He will be in the house with us, eating and hanging around. We obviously can't sit outside the whole time. We can wear masks inside and I think the weather will be suitable for having windows open. Even so, there is risk and it scares me since my husband will only be getting his first dose on the day he arrives and of course I won't be vaccinated at all. My brother's wife died of COVID in December. She was in a nursing home so it wasn't exactly a surprise, but it was still heart-breaking. Now my brother is alone. His sister-in-law lives about 30 minutes away from him and they are close. But I worry about him being alone. I wish he would move back home close to me and my sister and other brother. We're the only ones left in my family and I'd like us all to be close together.
March 2, 2021