Pre pandemic I saw my group of friends every week> when we would watch the Bachelor/ette together every Monday night for like the past 6 years. Since Covid we have been doing secret quarintina gifts for each other, drawing names and bringing each other gifts. Often there is a theme based on the time of year and this one was galentines day. This is the picture of what was brought to my doorstep on Friday by a good friend. While we text and zoom frequently, having a tangible connection to them has felt so important, and made it feel real, like right were friends not just on digital platforms. I so miss giving them hugs and sitting on the couch sharing snacks, but this helps a little.
February 17, 2021
I feel disconnected from myself and the world around me. This evening feels almost exactly the same as yesterday. Time seems to be moving fast as soon as the sun goes down, and not in a figurative way, but literally. I don't feel like myself, and I don't feel good. I'm fine in the morning and I have a lot of motivation then, but somewhere in the afternoon I slip and fall into a weird state. I don't feel present, I have a tiny headache right now (probably from eating too much sugar) but I just don't feel right and I don't feel like me. I've become disconnected from my happiness, and being in classes where the material is mostly serious and there's not much room for jokes or laughter doesn't help.
March 28, 2021