I found this memorial someone left on the beach at Far Rockaway and began to think about all the lives we lost this year. So many people have died this year, not all of them from the pandemic but many of them did die from the pandemic. I am thinking about what we are doing to the planet with all our progress. We produce so much trash there is no room for it anymore. Our salaries are so low people who are working still can’t afford housing yet inflation doesn’t stop. Landlords keep raising rents yet many of the tenants are behind in their rent, yet the property taxes keep going up. There is so much going on, the earth keeps spinning, the sun keeps rising and babies are bing born. I should be hopeful and happy yet many days I am afraid. Afraid of the future for me, my children and my grandchildren. I am writing a gratitude journal and am trying to be happy and positive. I made a wedding this year, next week I am making a birthday party for my one year old grandson. We have to celebrate the good times. Life is short, I am making it sweeter.
August 2, 2021
Right now I’m avoiding speaking to my parents. I’m so mad that my mom is not taking her Covid exposure more seriously and doing more to protect her and my dad’s health that I’m worried about what I will say and where the conversation might go. If they get it, and they get really sick, it will take time to make arrangements for someone to take care of my daughter so that I can go (drive 2 days? Risk flying????) visit them or take care of them. Worst case scenario, I don’t want our last words before intubation (or worse.....) to be us yelling at each other. I guess I don’t know if not having any last words at all would make me feel better. I hope I don’t have to find out.
March 5, 2021