Why is everything so hard? This week, a friend came out to visit. She didn't even stay with us, but the visit was exhausting, expensive, and time consuming. Have I forgotten how to be social? This photo is from Meow Wolf in Santa Fe. She said it was the best thing she did on her trip, so I was happy about that. But to me the day was stressful and unnerving at the same time. Too much of my mental space is taken up with comparing how things used to be, pre-Covid, and how they are now. It seems like everything before was easy and cheap. Going out now there are roadblocks and barriers. It's aggravating, but of course there is no going back. I have to figure out how to be grateful and happy to be able to do things at all.
June 25, 2021
I’ve been less connected. This seems to bother others more than me. I always said that I could live alone in a lighthouse. I like cooking and finery with recipes to make them more healthy. I’ve developed bran muffins and banana chia muffins. I spent my summers as a Bell Telephone operator and worked my way through grad school working switchblade for an answering service. I have to force myself to call anyone. I only use my cellphone and my ground line phone is an answering machine. I text people and we set up a time to talk or see each other.
June 6, 2021