This week was Mom’s birthday. Though she’s no longer here I often feel her presence. I decided to celebrate with a quick round of “Happy Birthday to you...” and made a wish and blew out the candle as her proxy on the special day. I took this picture to share with my sister and to see how she might have marked the occasion. When I looked at the picture I was struck by the impermanence of our presence here on earth, and how many spirits may be with us, or not... the candle reflection is there, but not the shadow of the flame. Isn’t a shadow supposed to be one of life’s given? The constant threat of Covid, and the unknown seemed particularly poignant in that flame and missing shadow. It left me questioning all kinds of things like what’s real? Can you trust your eyes? Can you trust pictures? What else do we think should be a certain way and isn’t? How long will Covid last? When will I feel safe again! Will I ever feel safe again? And yet there’s an element of comfort here as well. That is that I can stand alone and burn brightly knowing she’s there, even though I can no longer “see” her. Maybe it’s the “shadow of doubt” that’s missing? Maybe it’s a sign she’s still with me? I hope all those who have lost loved ones may also see themselves burn bright without a shadow of doubt, and find comfort in the possibility they are still here and watching over us.
December 31, 2020
Se acercan las fiestas y con la cuarentena obligatoria finalizada la gente abunda por las calles. Estoy haaaaarta de la frase "Ya se levantó todo" como si eso significara que el virus desapareció del universo. Es molesto que no les importe, pero más molesto es aún que quieran molestar o estigmatizar a aquellos que aún quieren mantener las distancias y la higiene propia o los objetos que nos rodean, como si fuera una "moda pasada". Nos tratan de "miedosos", cuando en realidad solo nos cuidamos pensando en alguien, como si les afectara que el resto se cuide mientras ellos no. No los entiendo. Lo peor de todo es que lo tengo que aguantar entre mi propia familia. "Ya se levantó todo" "¿Ah todavía usan barbijo?" "Ah pero ellos no usan, ¿Había que usar el barbijo?" NO, NO SE LEVANTÓ TODO, SOLO LEVANTARON LA CUARENTENA OBLIGATORIA PARA AQUELLOS QUE NECESITAS SALIR A TRABAJAR O TERMINAR SUS ESTUDIOS, EL BARBIJO Y EL LAVADO DE MANOS TIENE QUE SEGUIR. Lo quisiera gritar a los 4 vientos, pero también sé que es en vano hacerlo porque total.... "se levantó todo".
December 11, 2020