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Mourning my own as I gaze upon the English mourning The pandemic stole my right to mourn I remained huddled in my home My friends Were buried on zoom. My colleagues, friends, advisors Passing after shutdown March ‘20 And yet a year later I sought To set aside a memorial moment. In lieu of wakes and shivas Along with my in-person hugs I sat through Prince Philip’s service Mourning all my losses in a royal setting Taking time for silence and grief Thank yous for the Royal Family For this moment set aside to grieve. I engaged with the service, half listening, My own departed held no titles,no heraldries Philip’s honors appropriate for queen’s mate. I was gifted the time to observe and reflect Upon dear friends some younger than he They had died, as he, untouched by covid. I sat before the flat screen and mourned Remembering each friends’ kindness, each one’s care. The army-green Land Rover turned at Windsor gates With a bear skin helmeted officer standing in salute I marked the passing month by month of friends And on this day I transformed the regale spectacle Into my own service remembering my own losses Internally I stood in salute and prayed for each My own special persons, grateful for this timely solution.
April 23, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
I have felt very lonely and insecure since returning home to living alone in my one-bedroom apartment after spending Thanksgiving through New Year's with family. I try to dive head-first into my work (working remotely for an archival project and my dissertation), and that does help. I've been scheduling Zoom hangouts with friends on most days. I have a very close friend in my PhD program who has been living with family for six months and is about to go back to living alone. I worry for her, but at the same time, it helps make me feel less alone that she's in the same situation. Honestly, the first six months of all of this, working from home, never leaving my apartment, never seeing anyone, really wasn't that bad. But I hit my limit, sometime around August or September. I became incredibly depressed. I just can't do this forever. Even though I'm not going to take risks, I honestly understand and empathize with the people who have lost it and can't take the isolation anymore. I am receiving an at-home test from my workplace so I can go back to working in the office a couple days a week, everyone staggered so we're only with one or two other people at a time. I am looking forward to spending time on site, but at the same time, it's incredibly lonely there with the staggered schedule.
January 7, 2021